Where is Dr. Gonzo when you need him?

If anything could have made Hunter Thompson have second thoughts about committing suicide, it would probably have been not wanting to miss out on yesterday's revelation about Deep Throat.

Since the Post confirmed the story, characters from the `70s - including Chuck Colson and Patrick Buchanan - have been boiling out into the media like cottonmouths maddened from one too many Mississippi floods.

Buchanan was all but frothing at the mouth on the Today Show this morning, claiming that the F.B.I. had a file on everyone (which was probably too close to the truth in the early `70s) and would the liberals had liked it if Hoover had released what he had on Kennedy, huh, huh? When he wasn't spewing invective at Mark Felt, Buchanan launched the unlikely insult that Woodward and Bernstein were nothing more than transcriptionists.

As one would expect, "The Huffington Post" has its own spin on things, including a pretty good article by Nora Ephron ("Bewitched" connection there), once married to Carl Bernstein, that she had figured out it was Felt long ago, and you shoulda too. Paul Krassner, who I would put money on in a death match against Pat Buchanan, does the time warp and comes up with a twisty conspiracy theory that tries to tie together Watergate, the murder of Ruben Salazar, and the Pentagon Papers into one neat package.