Be a character...

... in, in no particular order, a work by Stephen King, or Michael Chabon, or Lemony Snicket, or Karen Joy Fowler, or John Grisham, or Neil Gaiman, or Amy Tan, or a host of others.

100 percent of the proceeeds go to The First Amendment Project, a "a nonprofit advocacy organization dedicated to protecting and promoting freedom of information, expression, and petition."

My two choices if I were to bid...

Stephen King

What he's offering:

"One (and only one) character name in a novel called CELL, which is now in work and which will appear in either 2006 or 2007. Buyer should be aware that CELL is a violent piece of work, which comes complete with zombies set in motion by bad cell phone signals that destroy the human brain. Like cheap whiskey, it's very nasty and extremely satisfying. Character can be male or female, but a buyer who wants to die must in this case be female. In any case, I'll require physical description of auction winner, including any nickname (can be made up, I don't give a rip)."

When you can bid:
September 8-18

Or my first choice, a Lemony Snicket book

Lemony Snicket

What he's offering:

"An utterance by Sunny Baudelaire in Book the Thirteenth. Pronunciation and/or spelling may be slightly 'mutilated.' An example of this is in The Grim Grotto when Sunny utters 'Bushcheney.' Target publication date is Fall 2006."
When you can bid:
September 8-18

It would be worth some serious change for me to read Sunny uttering, "Balls!"

A piece of useless trivia that I trot out for your edification is that the sf author, Larry Niven's (whose early work I like but who I'm not too fond of otherwise due to a traumatic encounter when I was much younger but no less sensitive) name was used in a Harlan Ellison (a much nicer guy in person than Niven, says the grudge-holding and very digressive Fred) short story after Niven, a sf fan rather than author at the time, won an auction with being a character in an Ellison story as the winning prize. So, you should bid high, bid often as they say, and who knows what you might become one day, kid.