Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Now That's Comedy!

Slappy Squirrel from The Animaniacs goes to Woodstock with her nephew, Skippy, and confusionism reigns. Transcript courtesy of the T.R.E.S.S. foundation. The skit is an update of the classic Abbott and Costello, "Who's on First" routine, of course, or maybe not "of course" to readers of a certain age. One of the funnier things I've ever seen on the Web is someone noting after reading a transcript of "Who's On First" that it had obviously been copied from "Woodstock Slappy."

WOODSTOCK SLAPPY
----------------
Written by: JOHN P. McCANN & TOM RUEGGER
Director: AUDU PADEN
Animation: TOKYO MOVIE SHINSHA LTD.
NARRATOR: 1969. As brave American soliders went to battle in Vietnam,
back at home demonstrators protested the war. It was a time
of flower power, pyschedelic music, student marches, and a
nation divided. Which brings us to August 1969 and Slappy
Squirrel.
{Go Up To The Country}
SINGER: Go up to the country
Gotta get away
Got to leave the city
Gotta get away
We might even leave the USA...
SLAPPY: Ah, here we go, summer in the country. Nothin' but rest and
relaxation, right Skippy?
SKIPPY: Yeah, groovy, Aunt Slappy, man, groovy.
SLAPPY: Skippy, don't talk like that, people will think you had brain
surgery.
SKIPPY: I can dig it, man, far out.
SLAPPY: <*sigh*> I had to get him out of the city, away from all those bad
influences.
SKIPPY: You mean like peace and love?
SLAPPY: Exactly. That stuff will warp ya!
{Humouresque (Slappy's theme)}
SLAPPY: There is it. Our summer cottage.
SKIPPY: Outta sight, man.
SLAPPY: Make yourself at home, kiddo.
SKIPPY: I can dig it.
SLAPPY: <*sigh*> I'll have him speakin' English again in no time.
{some 60's rock anthem...}
SLAPPY: Knock it off with the Bing Crosby, Stills, and Nash, will ya'?
SKIPPY: Why?
{Slappy's Theme}
SLAPPY: 'Cause the only tune I want to hear is "The Sound of Silence",
can you dig that?
SKIPPY: I hear ya.
SLAPPY: Good. Now let's rest up for tomorrow.
SKIPPY: Why? What are we doing tomorrow?
SLAPPY: Napping all day if I have anything to say about it.
Ah, rest and relaxation at last.
{Beautiful Dreamer}

M.C.: There is 300,000 of use here today, man! And now Miss Janis Joplin!
JANIS JOPLIN:
{Piece Of My Heart?}
SLAPPY: Oops. Somebody just ran over a dog!
For the love of Kaopectate, what's going on?
SKIPPY: Something's happening here,
What it is, ain't exactly clear.
SLAPPY: Well, thank you for that.
Hey, you kids, what are you doin'?! Go on, get away from my tree!
HIPPIE1:Like, mellow out, you running-dog squirrel.
HIPPIE2:Hey, we're here for the Woodstock concert, man.
HIPPIE1:Three days of rock from groups like Jefferson Airplane, The Band,
The Who, The Grateful Dead...
SLAPPY: I'd be grateful, too, if I didn't have to listen to this noise.
Now clear out all of ya, go home! Scat!
{Animaniacs' theme}
SKIPPY: Aunt Slappy, be cool. Let's just go with the flow.
SLAPPY: I'm not goin' anywhere with Flo! I want some peace and quiet.
SKIPPY: But, Aunt Slappy, man, we're witnessing history. Woodstock. A
single event pulling together a whole generation.
SLAPPY: A bowl full of prunes would have the same effect.
{I Feel Like I'm Fixin' To Die Rag}
COUNTRY JOE McDONALD: And it's two, four, six
What am I singing for?
Don't ask me; I don't give a hoot
Just pay me with lots of loot!
And it's eight, ten, twelve
I'm just killing time
My contract says to sing a song
Yee haw! I need a rhyme!
SLAPPY: All right, all of ya', hit the road! Party's over! Go on, shoo!
SKIPPY: They're not listening, Aunt Slappy, man, they're tuned into the music!
SLAPPY: Well, we'll see about that. Come on.
SKIPPY: Where are we going?
SLAPPY: To the stage, to put a stop to this. I came to the country for
some peace and quiet and I'm gonna get it.
{Brand New Key}
MELANINE: Who's got a box of brand-new crackers?
I've got some brand-new cheese!
{With A Little Help From My Friends}
JOE COCKER: Would you still cheer if I had a tin ear?
Would you throw a tomato at me?
SLAPPY: Yes!
SKIPPY: Chill out, Aunt Slappy, man.
{Feel Me}
ROGER DALTRY: Can you watch me?
Can you listen to me?
Can you smell me?
Can you hear me?
SLAPPY: Unfortunately, yes! Skippy, what is the name of that group playing
on stage?
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The name of the group.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The group on stage.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The group playing on stage.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: You're starting to sound like an owl, Skippy.
SKIPPY: Who is on stage!
SLAPPY: That is what I'm askin' ya', who is on stage?
SKIPPY: That's what I said.
SLAPPY: You said who?
SKIPPY: I sure did.
SLAPPY: So tell me the name.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The name of the group.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The group on stage.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The name of the band on stage!
SKIPPY: Who!
SLAPPY: You're doing that owl thing again, Skippy!
SKIPPY: I'm not, Aunt Slappy, I'm telling you Who is on stage.
SLAPPY: So tell me.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: So tell me.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The name of the group.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The group on stage!
SKIPPY: Who!
SLAPPY: That's what I'm asking you!
SKIPPY: And I'm telling you the answer.
SLAPPY: Wait, Skippy, let's start over. Is there a band on stage?
SKIPPY: Yes.
SLAPPY: Does the band have a name?
SKIPPY: Yes.
SLAPPY: Do you know the name of the band?
SKIPPY: Yes.
SLAPPY: Then tell me the name of the band on stage.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The name of the band!
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The band, playing on stage!
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: That's what I want to know!
SKIPPY: I'm telling you!
SLAPPY: Who is on stage.
SKIPPY: Yes.
SLAPPY: Who is?
SKIPPY: Yes.
SLAPPY: Oh. So the name of the band is Yes.
SKIPPY: No, Aunt Slappy, Yes is not even at this concert.
SLAPPY: Then who is on stage?
SKIPPY: Yes.
SLAPPY: Who is?
SKIPPY: Yes.
SLAPPY: That's just what I said, Yes is on stage.
SKIPPY: No, Yes is not here. Who is on stage.
SLAPPY: Whaddya askin' me for?
SKIPPY: I'm not!
SLAPPY: Wait, let's try this again. Do you see the band on stage?
SKIPPY: No I don't see The Band, that's a different group entirely.
SLAPPY: On stage, Skippy. Look, see the band?
SKIPPY: No I don't.
SLAPPY: Get rid of those John Lennon glasses and look! There, there's the
band!
SKIPPY: No, that's not The Band. The Band is performing later on. Who's
on stage.
SLAPPY: You tell me.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The name of the group on stage.
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The name of the group!
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The group on stage!
SKIPPY: Who.
SLAPPY: The band!
SKIPPY: No, The Band is performing later. Right now, we're listening to
Who.
SLAPPY: That's what I wanna know!!

ROGER DALTRY: Hey, you squirrels are funny, man. Come on up here and take
a bow.
SKIPPY: Yeah! Far out!
SLAPPY: Oh brother....
{Humouresque}
SLAPPY: Yeah, yeah, OK. Thank you. Now everybody go home! Including you
guys, what's your name?
ROGER: Who.
SLAPPY: Don't start with me! Just get off the stage! The rest of you, go!

SLAPPY: Why aren't they leaving?
SKIPPY: They dig you, Aunt Slappy, man.
SLAPPY: Oh yeah? We'll see about that. I said leave!
[Smashing Jimi's guitar]
ROGER: Oh, very groovy, mates, isn't it, totally! >-together
PETE TOWNSHEND: Totally groovy. /
ROGER: We are The Who!
[Smashing insturments]
ROGER: erg...

SLAPPY: Yeesh! These kids would applaud my laundry! Why won't they take
a hike?
SKIPPY: They want more music.
SLAPPY: All right, then. They can have more music!
{Slappy's theme}
SLAPPY: Hey everybody! Let's polka!
"Uncle Yasha lost his shoe
It fell in a bog; he did too.
Uncle Schmeeda grabbed his foot
He jumped in the bog and went kaput."
[evacuation]
{Beethoven's 6th Symphony}
SLAPPY: Ah. Peace and quiet at last!
{Star Spangled Banner}
In the land of the free,
Now that's comedy!

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